I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

Steven Wright

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You know when you're sitting on a chair and you lean back so you're just on two legs and you lean too far so you almost fall over but at the last second you catch yourself? I feel like that all the time...

Steven Wright

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If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

Steven Wright

Mots clés funny first skydiving

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If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor success failure

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I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

Steven Wright

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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Steven Wright

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I had a dream that all the babies prevented by the pill showed up. They were mad.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor

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Women. Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor

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I spilled spot remover on my dog; now he's gone.

Steven Wright

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You can't have everything ... where would you put it?

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor

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