Still nothing," Raven answered "This is shitty. We are going to have to invest in heat sensors. These motion detectors blow Satan's left nut.

Gabrielle Evans

Stichwörter: humor funny serious



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As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.

Dan Brown

Stichwörter: humor funny dan-brown toilet robert-langdon angels-and-demons



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I explained my opinion of the ship’s logic. “That is a strange designation,” said the ship. “While I have certain organic elements incorporated into my substructure and decentralized DNA computing components, I am not—in the strictest sense of the term—a biological organism. I have no digestive system. No need for elimination, other than the occasional waste gas and passenger effluvium. Therefore, I have no anus in either real or figurative terms. Therefore, I hardly believe I could qualify to be called an …” “Shut up,” I said.

Dan Simmons

Stichwörter: funny



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The sun weeps because it can no longer caress your skin or warm your lips." He sifted his fingers through my hair. "I do not envy the sun, Eva. But I truly hate the moon, because its light touches you in all the ways I cannot.

Michele Bardsley

Stichwörter: love funny sweet



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For it is written that "if the wise man appears always stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.

Christopher Moore

Stichwörter: inspirational funny



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There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.

Lemony Snicket

Stichwörter: funny torture interrogation socks



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The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.

M.F. Moonzajer

Stichwörter: women funny rape fault



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Woah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number" - Jaxson Evans

Brit N. Lane

Stichwörter: romantic random funny sexy



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I come from a long line of miserable people.

Arlene Schindler

Stichwörter: humor family funny ancestry funny-but-true miserable sad-but-funny miserable-at-best



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He’d use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn’t just a brainless bimfoon, that’s when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess.

Kyle Adams

Stichwörter: funny drag drag-queen bimfoon kyle-adams skanktart



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