Still nothing," Raven answered "This is shitty. We are going to have to invest in heat sensors. These motion detectors blow Satan's left nut.
Gabrielle EvansAs he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne.
Dan BrownTag: humor funny dan-brown toilet robert-langdon angels-and-demons
I explained my opinion of the ship’s logic. “That is a strange designation,” said the ship. “While I have certain organic elements incorporated into my substructure and decentralized DNA computing components, I am not—in the strictest sense of the term—a biological organism. I have no digestive system. No need for elimination, other than the occasional waste gas and passenger effluvium. Therefore, I have no anus in either real or figurative terms. Therefore, I hardly believe I could qualify to be called an …” “Shut up,” I said.
Dan SimmonsTag: funny
The sun weeps because it can no longer caress your skin or warm your lips." He sifted his fingers through my hair. "I do not envy the sun, Eva. But I truly hate the moon, because its light touches you in all the ways I cannot.
Michele BardsleyFor it is written that "if the wise man appears always stupid, his failures do not disappoint, and his success gives pleasant surprise.
Christopher MooreTag: inspirational funny
There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible.
Lemony SnicketTag: funny torture interrogation socks
The funny part about Islam is; even if you rape a woman, it would be considered as her fault.
M.F. MoonzajerWoah, their gorgeous not so fast I haven't even catched your name or your number" - Jaxson Evans
Brit N. LaneTag: romantic random funny sexy
I come from a long line of miserable people.
Arlene SchindlerTag: humor family funny ancestry funny-but-true miserable sad-but-funny miserable-at-best
He’d use this opportunity to impress Rick and show him that he did, in fact, have more to offer than just being a sexy skanktart. To show that he wasn’t just a brainless bimfoon, that’s when a bimbo breeds with a buffoon, resulting in a true, hot mess.
Kyle AdamsTag: funny drag drag-queen bimfoon kyle-adams skanktart
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