Yes, I know," Isadora said, and then read her poem, leaning forward so Carmelita Spats would not overhear:
"I would rather eat a bowl of vampire bats
than spend an hour with Carmelita Spats."
The Baudelaires giggled and then covered their mouths so nobody would know they were laughing at Carmelita.
"That was great," Klaus said. "I like the part about the bowl of bats.
Stichwörter: absurd funny poem bats lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events silly funny-poem silly-poem vampire-bats
In between bites of banana, Mr. Remora would tell stories, and the children would write the stories down in notebooks, and every so often there would be a test. The stories were very short, and there were a whole lot of them on every conceivable subject. "One day I went to the store to purchase a carton of milk," Mr. Remora would say, chewing on a banana. "When I got home, I poured the milk into a glass and drank it. Then I watched television. The end." Or: "One afternoon a man named Edward got into a green truck and drove to a farm. The farm had geese and cows. The end." Mr. Ramora would tell story after story, and eat banana after banana, and it would get more and more difficult for Violet to pay attention.
Lemony SnicketStichwörter: humor school random stories absurd funny lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events silly banana the-austere-academy schoolwork
Well, Nero," Genghis said, "I just wanted to give you this rose-a small gift of congratulations for the wonderful concert you gave us last night!"
"Oh, thank you," Nero said, taking the rose out of Genghis's hand and giving it a good smell. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?"
"You were perfection!" Genghis said. "The first time you played your sonata, I was deeply moved. The second time, I had tears in my eyes. The third time, I was sobbing. The fourth time, I had an uncontrollable emotional attack. The fifth time-" The Baudelaires did not hear about the fifth time because Nero's door swung shut behind them.
Stichwörter: absurd funny exaggeration lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events silly the-austere-academy over-the-top count-olaf
Look!" Mr. Poe said, who was still too far to help but close enough to see. "Genghis has an eye tattoo, like Count Olaf! In fact, I think he IS Count Olaf!"
"Of course he is!" Violet cried, holding up the unraveled turban.
"Merd!" Sunny shrieked, holding up a tiny piece of shoelace. She meant something like "That's what we've been trying to tell you.
Stichwörter: humor funny curse reference lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events silly sneaky the-austere-academy sly count-olaf baby-talk french-word sly-humor
He’s a vampire.” I laughed again, feeling there was no end to the outrageous, ridiculous excuses we were coming up with. “Seriously, it makes sense. He’s always tired and pale, and keeps himself away from people so he won’t bite them....Maybe that’s what he’s doing when he disappears. Getting his fix of blood.
J.M. RichardsStichwörter: funny vampires anna laurel superheroes silly jill girltalk davin j-m-richards tall-dark-streak-of-lightning tdsol awesome-quotes pale-heroes
Don't go to the circus.
Angie SageStichwörter: advice funny circus things-not-to-do
It’s not complicated and it doesn’t compare to my problem, now give me a damn cookie I think I earned it,” Jill snapped.
Chris grinned like it was Christmas morning. “Yes, you did.” He brought her a cookie. “Very good, my young one. You’ve made Chris very happy with this little tidbit of information.
Stichwörter: funny sarcasm condescending chris
Our lips met hungrily, and his clever artistic hands wrapped around my hips. A sudden buzz from my regular cell phone startled me from the kissing.
"Don't," said Adrian, his eyes ablaze and breathing ragged.
"What if there's a crisis at school?" I asked. "What if Angeline 'accidentally' stole one of the campus buses and drove it into the library?"
"Why would she do that?"
"Are you saying she wouldn't?"
He sighed. "Go check it.
Stichwörter: love funny richelle-mead adrian-ivashkov sydney-sage sydrian bloodlines-series the-fiery-heart angeline-dawes
Wow, we're identical!
J.K. RowlingStichwörter: harry-potter funny fred-weasley george-weasley weasley-twins twins weasleys
Professor Milligan will now play his tree! The composition is in A Minor, the tree is in A garden.
Spike MilliganStichwörter: humor random humour funny
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