I'm always a bit shy around evil people...

Craig Ferguson


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I like football. I find its an exciting strategic game. Its a great way to avoid conversation with your family at Thanksgiving.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: family strategy football thanksgiving



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Everything I think of now is too rude to actually say.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: tact rude politically-correct



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On that same tour we ran into a band at Aylesbury Friars, a biggish venue in Oxfordshire, England. They were a four-piece from Ireland called U2. They seemed like nice fellows and they sounded pretty good, but we didn’t keep in touch. They’re probably taxi drivers and accountants by now.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: humor music celebrities



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I think when you become a parent you go from being a star in the movie of your own life to the supporting player in the movie of someone else's.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: life parents children



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I've got mixed feelings about poetry cause done well poetry is fantastic. But not many people are capable of doing it well. I think you should have some kind of license to perform poetry. A poetic license perhaps.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: poetry



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You gotta laugh because if you didn't you'd cry

Craig Ferguson

Tags: laughter



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Dr. Jeckyll

Craig Ferguson

Tags: alcohol-metaphor



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I love zombies. If any monster could Riverdance, it would be zombies.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: dance monsters zombies



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Stand by your bed and salute me.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: bed salute



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