When in doubt about who's to blame. Blame the English.
Craig FergusonI think holidays create so much pressure because people feel they should be having a good time. But you shouldn't.
Craig FergusonIts easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.
Craig FergusonTags: money spiritual christmas
There is no Thanksgiving back in the old country where I come from. You know why? Because being thankful is a sin.
Craig FergusonTags: sin thanksgiving
Sometimes my pathology just spills out into the camera doesn't it?
Craig FergusonIf I have a near-beer, I’m near beer. And if I’m near beer, I’m close to tequila. And if I’m close to tequila, I’m adjacent to cocaine.
Craig FergusonTags: drugs drinking beer alcohol tequila cocaine
Anyone who's just driven 90 yards against huge men trying to kill them has earned the right to do Jazz hands.
Craig FergusonTags: dance football celebration
The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.
Craig FergusonTags: christmas alcohol wine gift rehab
I'm gonna enjoy being old I think I'll be awesome at it.
Craig FergusonTags: age
If I start giving people what they like I'll turn into one of them and I don't want to be one of them I want to be one of me.
Craig FergusonTags: individuality
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