Much of television has been homogenized in the desire to avoid annoying or upsetting people.
Craig FergusonTags: tv
At CBS, I’m in your house. I’m mindful of that. When I do standup, you’re in my home and I can say what I want to.
Craig FergusonTags: censorship comedy tv self-censorship
There's a commercial break coming and I'm very excited about it and you know why? Because that's what keeps daddy in suits.
Craig FergusonTags: suits tv commercialism talk-show-host
Old people really do have a secret though. You wanna know what it is? Luck.
Craig FergusonLook, there is nothing you can say about this show that I don't already know
Craig FergusonTags: self-awareness tv
114 isn't as old as it used to be they say its the new 104.
Craig FergusonTags: age
People talk to old people like they're children.'Oh you're very old aren't you?' Yeah I'm old. I'm not stupid.
Craig FergusonTags: wisdom age condescension
That's why Credit card companies are evil. Are they sponsoring the show tonight? ... They are Evil.
Craig FergusonTags: money evil credit commercialism
By the power of Steven Wright's Beard!
Craig FergusonThe world can be such a fright, but it belongs to us tonight.
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