Listen to me, convict. I have not traveled all this way to listen to your war stories. So shut your trap before I shut it for you.
Commander Julius Root
Tags: humor
The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.
Eoin ColferCertainly, Doctor. Let's talk about your chair. Victorian?
Eoin ColferWho are you?" he asked.
I am the future queen of this world, at the very least. You may refer to me as Mistress Koboi for the next five minutes. After that you may refer to me as Aaaaarrrrgh, hold your throat, die screaming, and so on.
Tags: humor fun evil-overlord megalomania world-domination
I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.
Tags: humor fun evil-overlord
Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.
Eoin ColferTags: humor revenge violence fun evil-overlord
It took teams of LEP warlocks to slow down time for a few hours; the magic required to open a door to the tunnel was stupendous. It would be easier to shoot down the moon.
Opal tapped this into her notepad.
Reminder. Shoot down the moon? Viable?
Tags: humor fun evil-overlord
I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.
Eoin ColferTags: humor internet fun kids teenagers time-travel
You wouldn't know a clue if it danced in front of you with a T-Shirt that read 'I'm a clue
Eoin ColferOh,It's going to be so easy to kill you",scoffed Opal.
Eoin ColferTags: artemis-fowl opal-koboi
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