I believe in talking behind peoples' backs. That way, they hear it more than once.
Fran LebowitzAll God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.
Fran LebowitzTags: humor
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran LebowitzTags: food diet irony omnivore
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.
Fran LebowitzAsk your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.
Fran LebowitzTags: humor
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
Fran LebowitzNow, nature, as I am only too aware, has her enthusiasts, but on the whole, I am not to be counted among them. To put it bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back to the land; I am the type who wants to go back to the hotel.
Fran LebowitzSuccess didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
Fran LebowitzIf your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be fantasies.
Fran LebowitzIf you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest that he wear a tail.
Fran LebowitzTags: pets
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