Are you done briefing the company yet?"

"We, um... Haven't gotten through the introductions yet."

"Allow me: Time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, this is the mercenary company "Tagon's Toughs."

"Company, this is the time-traveling Kevyn Andreyasn, who will have become your captain thirty-two hours from now, as of seven weeks ago.
Now, quick. Let's go save the galaxy while they're confused.

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour confusion time-travel introductions mercenaries heroics taking-charge

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That's odd. It looks almost as if Nick is picking a fight with that elephant."

"Well, the elephant started it."

"That's irrelevant. Fighting with civilians is against the rules. Go break it up."

-Admiral Breya Andreyasn

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour fighting orders elephant

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Right now I've got just two rules to live by.

Rule one: don't taunt elephants.
Rule two: don't stand next to anybody who taunts elephants.

-Sergeant Schlock

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour rules taunt elephant rules-to-live-by

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Welcome to your new bodies, gentlemen. If you'd like, I can help you start your own 'dysmorphia is all in your head' support group.

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour sci-fi doctor size dysmorphia

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No! Wait! I've got a better idea..."

"Your ideas tend to result in unnecessary violence, Sergeant Schlock."

"And your point is..."

"Let's broaden the definition of 'necessary'.

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour violence suggestion necessary idea

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Two minutes worth of signal analysis told me all I needed to know. This station "talks" to the dark matter universe about what goes on inside."

"How did you cobble together a jammer so quickly?"

"I had one on me.

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour sci-fi making-do handiness radio-jammer

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Kevyn, I'm promoting you from Tech Sergeant to Munitions Commander. I want you to take responsibility for all Company weapons.

Munitions Commander? Why me?

I don't know. Call it "suspicion of extreme competence" on my part.
-Captain Tagon

Howard Tayler

Tags: humour weapons military sci-fi competence promotion

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Maxim 1:
Pillage, then burn.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Howard Tayler

Tags: mercenaries rules-to-live-by

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Maxim 9:
Never turn your back on an enemy.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Howard Tayler

Tags: caution enemy rules-to-live-by

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Maxim 5:
Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.

-The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries

Howard Tayler

Tags: military rules-to-live-by air-support

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