You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.
Jeff KinneyThere was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.
Tags: humor
See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.
Jeff KinneyI don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.
Jeff KinneyMonkeys can't talk, stupid!
Jeff KinneyTags: humor
So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.
Jeff KinneyI'm basically one of the best people I know.
Jeff KinneyTags: humorous
Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!
Jeff KinneyTags: comedy diary-of-a-wimpy-kid jeff-kinney
fish and visitors stink in 3 days.
Jeff KinneyI like turtles!!!!
Jeff KinneyTags: comady
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