You and your group of nerds fall into a pit and it's full of dynamite and you blow up. The End.

Jeff Kinney


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There was this book Dad used to read to me every night called "The Giving Tree." It was a really good book, but the back of it had a picture of the author, this guy named Shel Silverstein.
But Shel Silverstein looks more like a burglar or a pirate than a guy who should be writing books for kids.
Dad must have known that picture kind of freaked me out, because one night after I got out of bed, Dad said: "IF YOU GET OUT OF BED AGAIN TONIGHT, YOU'LL PROBABLY RUN INTO SHEL SILVERSTEIN IN THE HALLWAY."
That really did the trick, Ever since then, I STILL don't get out of bed at night, even if I really need to use the bathroom.

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés humor



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See, when you're a little kid, nobody ever warns you that you've got an expiration date. One day you're hot stuff and the next day you're a dirt sandwich.

Jeff Kinney


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I don't know if this makes me a bad person or whatever, but it's hard for me to get interested in other people's vacations.

Jeff Kinney


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Monkeys can't talk, stupid!

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés humor



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So I've started wearing sweatpants to bed because I really don't need Santa seeing me in my underwear.

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés sleep santa behavior



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I'm basically one of the best people I know.

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés humorous



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Youre gonna grow up and marry some ice cream! Haha!

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés comedy diary-of-a-wimpy-kid jeff-kinney



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fish and visitors stink in 3 days.

Jeff Kinney


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I like turtles!!!!

Jeff Kinney

Mots clés comady



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