To alcohol! The cause of... and solution to... all of life's problems
Matt GroeningTags: humor drinking alcohol homer
Well, most grown-ups forget what it was like to be a kid. I vowed that I would never forget.
Matt GroeningLiving creatively is really important to maintain throughout your life. And living creatively doesn't mean only artistic creativity, although that's part of it. It means being yourself, not just complying with the wishes of other people.
Matt GroeningYou tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try.'
Homer Simpson
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers.
Matt GroeningTags: humor
I'm presently incarcerated. Convicted of a crime I didn't even commit. Hah! "Attempted murder"? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?
Matt GroeningTags: humor
Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon."
Lisa Simpson
Tags: lisa-simpson
D'OH!
Matt GroeningTags: the-simpsons
A lot of our writers, like Conan O'Brien, moved on to other things
Matt GroeningI plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicans for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.
Matt GroeningTags: humor pledge-of-allegiance
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