In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.
Stephen ColbertTags: artists
New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.
Stephen ColbertA mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.
Stephen ColbertDon’t get me wrong. Being a mom is no picnic. Raising the kids is the mother’s
responsibility. It’s a thankless, solitary job, like sheriff or Pope.
Divorce is marital welfare.It’s just couples asking society to bail them out because they didn’t do enough research before they got married.
Stephen ColbertSorry, but retirement offends me. You don’t just stop fighting in the middle of a war because your legs hurt. So why do you get to stop working in the middle of your life just because your prostate hurts? That’s desertion.
Stephen ColbertAny religion whose messiah’s name
isn’t recognized by Microsoft Word can’t be that much of
a threat.
Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in
one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies
In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.
Stephen ColbertLuckily, a recent survey published in the American Sociological
Review revealed that atheists are the least trusted group in
America—less trusted, even, than homosexuals. It makes sense at least we trust the homosexuals with our hair.
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