I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.
Steven WrightTags: humor
Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?
Steven WrightEveryone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.
Steven WrightCross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.
Steven WrightTags: humor
I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Steven WrightTags: humor irony nobel-peace-prize
I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.
Steven WrightI just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
Steven WrightTags: humor-thought
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Steven WrightTags: humor-mondays
Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
Steven WrightI couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
Steven WrightTags: humor
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