I hate it when my leg falls asleep. I know that means it's going to be up all night.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor



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Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff?

Steven Wright

Tag: absurd airplanes



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Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor absurd



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Cross-country skiing is fine as long as you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor



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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor irony nobel-peace-prize



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I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor writing



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I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-thought



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Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor-mondays



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Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!

Steven Wright


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I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Steven Wright

Tag: humor



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