If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?
Steven WrightTags: humor
I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.
Steven WrightTags: humor
Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?
Steven WrightTags: humor
I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.
Steven WrightTags: humor
I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.
Steven WrightDid you sleep well?"
"No, I made a couple of mistakes.
Tags: humor-sleep
Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.
Steven WrightI was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.
Steven WrightTags: humor
A metaphor is like a simile.
Steven WrightTags: humor
Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?
Steven WrightTags: humor-buildings
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