If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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I heard that in relativity theory, space and time are the same thing. Einstein discovered this when he kept showing up three miles late for his meetings.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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Why isn’t the word “phonetically” spelled with an “f”?

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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I bought a cheap piece of land... It was on someone else’s property.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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I don’t have to walk my dog anymore. I walked him all at once.

Steven Wright


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Did you sleep well?"
"No, I made a couple of mistakes.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor-sleep



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Imagine Pulitzer prizefighting.

Steven Wright


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I was in a grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'pet supplies.' So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said, 'Compact cars.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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A metaphor is like a simile.

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor



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Why are they called buildings when they’re already finished? Shouldn’t they be called builts?

Steven Wright

Mots clés humor-buildings



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