The heart wants what it wants.
Woody AllenI was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.
Woody AllenIn my next life I want to live my life backwards. You start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you wake up in an old people's home feeling better every day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, and then when you start work, you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. You work for 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high school. You then go to primary school, you become a kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you become a baby until you are born. And then you spend your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa-like conditions with central heating and room service on tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!
Woody AllenAnd my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room.
Woody AllenI want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.
Woody AllenIf only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss Bank.
Woody AllenTags: humour
By now they had mastered my own language, but they still made simple mistakes, like using 'hermeneutics,' when they meant 'heuristic'.
Woody AllenMy education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.
Woody AllenI've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep.
Woody AllenI asked the girl if she could bring a sister for me. She did. Sister Maria Teresa. It was a very slow evening. We discussed the New Testament. We agreed that He was very well adjusted for an only child.
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