His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
Woody AllenI don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.
Woody AllenIn formulating any philosophy the first consideration must always be: What can we know? That is, what can we be sure we know, or sure that we know we knew it, if indeed it is at all knowable. Or have we simply forgotten it and are too embarrassed to say anything? Descartes hinted at the problem when he wrote, 'My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs.
Woody AllenDon't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone you love.
Woody AllenCuriosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds.
Woody AllenYou can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.
Woody AllenTradition is the illusion of permanence.
Woody AllenI took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100.
Woody AllenTags: humor existentialism uncertainty
This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother’s crazy. He thinks he’s a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don’t you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that’s pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they’re totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs.
Woody AllenThe wicked at heart probably know something.
Woody AllenTags: humor
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