I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody AllenTags: humor reading speed-reading tolstoy
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.
Woody AllenTags: self-deprecating woody-allen
My brain? That's my second favorite organ.
Woody AllenTags: humor
I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody AllenIf Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.
Woody AllenTags: humor religion christian-behavior organized-religion woody-allen
How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and shirt size?
Woody AllenThe difference between sex and love is that sex relieves tension and love causes it.
Woody AllenTags: sex
The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.
Woody AllenTags: sex
Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right.
Woody AllenTags: sex
Sex is the most fun you can have without laughing.
Woody AllenTags: sex
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