I should go to Paris and jump off of the Eiffel Tower. If I took the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier.
Woody AllenTags: absurd
More than any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.
Woody AllenTags: absurd
There is no question that there is an unseen world. The problem is, how far is it from midtown and how late is it open?
Woody AllenTags: humor new-york-city
In California, they don't throw their garbage away - they make it into TV shows.
Woody AllenI feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable.
Woody AllenMen learn to love the woman they are attracted to. Women learn to become attracted to the man they fall in love with.
Woody AllenTags: men-and-women gender-stereotypes
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Woody AllenI was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody AllenMankind is facing a crossroad - one road leads to despair and utter hopelessness and the other to total extinction - I sincerely hope you graduates choose the right road
Woody AllenDon't you see the rest of the country looks upon New York like we're left-wing, communist, Jewish, homosexual pornographers? I think of us that way sometimes and I live here.
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