When all else fails, there's always delusion.
Conan O'BrienThe humans are dead (I'm glad they are dead)
The humans are dead (I noticed, they're dead)
We used poisonous gases (With traces of lead)
And we poisoned their asses (Actually, their lungs)
Binary solo!
0000001, 00000011
000000111, 00001111!
Tags: absurd
2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven.
Bret McKenzieTags: absurd
JEMAINE
Lisa?
BRET
Yes, she's in Delta Force. She's been deployed to Fallujah.
JEMAINE
But she works in the croissant shop.
BRET
Yeah, she's got two jobs. She's a pastry chef and a sniper.
Tags: absurd
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
Steven WrightYou keep seeing your picture on posters that you are missing but you're not. That'd be weird, right? Or say you look down at the sidewalk and earthworms are spelling your name. Or you open a peanut bag and the 'hello' is written in your writing on the inside of the shell. Would that weird ya?
Lynda BarryYour self esteem is like a notch below Kafka's.
Woody AllenTags: self-esteem absurd
You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ.
Woody AllenIf everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
Steven WrightTags: absurd
I smell blood and an era of prominent madmen.
W.H. Auden« first previous
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