How fishy on the fishiness scale? Ten is a stickleback and one is a whale shark."

"A whale isn't a fish, Thursday."

"A whale shark is--sort of."

"All right, it's as fishy as a crayfish."

"A crayfish isn't a fish."

"A starfish, then."

"Still not a fish."

"This is a very odd conversation, Thursday.

Jasper Fforde

Tags: absurd

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What a nice night for an evening.

Steven Wright

Tags: absurd

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In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Madagascar. She said, 'Cut it out.'

Steven Wright

Tags: absurd

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Take from the church the miraculous, the supernatural, the incomprehensible, the unreasonable, the impossible, the unknowable, the absurd, and nothing but a vacuum remains.

Robert G. Ingersoll

Tags: absurd impossible supernatural incomprehensible miraculous unknowable unreasonable

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If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Steven Wright

Tags: absurd

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Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Steven Wright

Tags: absurd

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If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.

Steven Wright

Tags: humor absurd

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If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.

Albert Einstein

Tags: hope absurd absurdity idea

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Absurdity is one of the most human things about us: a manifestation of our most advanced and interesting characteristics.

Thomas Nagel

Tags: philosophy absurd nagel

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TEACHER
Let us begin. Repeat after me. I would like --

STUDENT
I wud like --

TEACHER
To feed your fingertips --

STUDENT
To feed yur fingerteeps --

TEACHER
To the wolverines.

Michael O'Donoghue

Tags: absurd

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