Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice.
Bill CosbyTags: comedy-humor
Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others.
Ellen DeGeneresTags: comedy-humor
If you ordered up a whore here, you'd probably get a theater major doing Joan Crawford as Sadie Thompson. I wonder what would happen if I ordered up a Hershey bar?" His eyes lit up for a moment. "I wonder what would happen if I ordered up a whore and a Hershey bar?
Kage BakerTags: science-fiction comedy-humor
Blake looked around and gulped. He'd forgotten about the mess on the floor. Chamber pot shards, his
shaving kit, a towel or two...
"I... ah..." It seemed to him that it was far easier
to lie for the sake of national security than it was to his
older sister.
"Is that a bar of soap stuck to the wall?" Penelope asked.
"Um... yes, it appears to be.
Tags: comedy-humor soap
You're sure he's not a vampire?' Claire said.'I've seen movies. They're sneaky.' She was kidding. Eve didn't smile.
Rachel CaineTags: comedy-humor mythical
I like big books and I cannot lie.
You other readers can’t deny
That when a kid walks in with The Name of the Wind
Like a hardbound brick of win.
Story bling.
Wanna swipe that thing
Cause you see that boy is speeding
Right through the book he’s reading.
I’m hooked and I can’t stop pleading.
Wanna curl up with that for ages,
All thousand pages.
Reviewers tried to warn me.
But with that plot you hooked
Me like Bradley.
Ooh, crack that fat spine.
You know I wanna make you mine.
This book is stella ’cause it ain’t some quick novella.
Tags: fantasy comedy-humor tome
One day, scientists will overtake LIGHT and crash into the DARKNESS.
Paul McDermottTags: science comedy-humor
The Wolf snarled, tensing his muscles, as if he wished he could climb the tree after the feline. "One day I will catch you on the ground, cat," he said through bared teeth. "And you won't even know I'm there until I tear your head off." "You have been saying that since before humans had fire, dog," Grimalkin replied, completely undisturbed. "You'll have to forgive me if I don't hold my breath."
- The Big Bad Wolf and Grimalkin
Tags: comedy-humor
Knowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.
Carroll BryantTags: humor humorist humorous comedy-humor philisophical comical philisophical-life
One should never give up on hope. Unless that's the name of the girl who cheated on you in which case, yeah, give her up.
Carroll BryantTags: humor funny comedy humorous comedy-humor comical funny-humor relationship-humor
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