We can’t all be comedians, some people have to do the laughing.

Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Tags: laughter comedy comedians



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HECKLER: Say something funny!

COMEDIAN: I don't do requests.

J. Ross Clara

Tags: humor humour comedy comedians hecklers heckling



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My dad used to tell me that laughter was like a cough or a sneeze - the body's way of trying to expel something. But instead of some phlegm in your throat, or some dust up your nose, a laugh happened when something really true got into your brain. Something so true that your system just couldn't stand it.

J. Ross Clara

Tags: humor truth laughter humour comedy laughing



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Thing is, I am not a big fan of hovers. I firmly believe that if man was meant to fly we’d have feathers, rubber bones, or better insurance coverage.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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Walking into Nova Hollywood, I remembered why I didn’t come here more often. I like a good slice of cheese as much as the next guy, but this place would be too cheesy for a giant mutant rat who had been starving for a week.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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Twoa said, obviously still in my brain. "It was my pheromones," she said defensively. I looked up at her; she was sniffing herself. She looked down at me. "Okay, maybe it wasn’t ALL the pheromones," she admitted. "Nobody makes a good deodorant for superheroes.

John Zakour

Tags: humor comedy sci-fi



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So, what you’re basically telling me is death is boring but no worse than hanging out with family.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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My number one fear is heights. Well, not so much the heights but the falling from heights. Actually the falling isn’t that bad (I have a strong heart), it’s the sudden stops that are painful. Believe me — I experienced it once.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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HARV, can you help at all here?” I asked, spinning downward.
“I am writing your obituary. Well, not so much writing it as updating it,” HARV told me.
If I lived, I was going to kill HARV.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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HARV appeared in front of me, arms crossed, head tilted. “You really should read your e-mails from Randy more carefully,” he lectured.
“I skim them,” I protested.
“Well, if you skimmed them more carefully you would know that prolonged exposure to stealth mode may lead to side effects.”
“I can handle . . .”
“Impotence.” HARV smiled.
“Oh,” I said.
“Randy hasn’t really tested it on humans. It’s extra tough to get volunteers for those types of experiments,” HARV said. “Though he has computer simulated it and the results tend to support this conclusion.”
“Let’s try to limit our use of stealth mode from now on,” I said.

John Zakour

Tags: humor fantasy comedy sci-fi



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