COMEDIAN: [...] What is it you do for a living?

HECKLER: I mind my own business.

COMEDIAN: Self-employed, eh? No really, what do you do?

HECKLER: I try not to "do.

J. Ross Clara

Tags: leisure work laziness comedy doing employment jobs comedians hecklers heckling



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Allegedly, allegedly I say, the R.G.A. were extremely miffed of portrait painted of their monarch, King Tingaling XX, by Master. Portrait apparently, as it’s yet t’be unveiled, depicts King Tingaling XX in rather compromisin’ position with a pineapple, a wad of cash and his favourite pig, Buttercup.

Elias Zapple

Tags: humor fantasy fiction comedy children-s-books pigs basset-hound skateboards



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Sad, slow music in the small hours of the morning isn't just sad and slow music. It's a narration. And through the myriad of morning dew, we are the twinkling stars that fade with the rising sun.

Dave Matthes

Tags: humor love loss death hope comedy drama fall autumn mornings



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SHUT UP," Carot Top say, the cocane now taking effect. "This isnt Poetry 101. People want to laugh. Your suposed to be a 'King' of Prop Comedy. But youve been acting more like a jester of prop comedy.

Seinfeld 2000

Tags: funny comedy



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A funny person is funny only for so long, but a wit can sit down and go on being spellbinding forever. One is not meant to laugh. One stays quiet and marvels. Spontaneously witty talk is without question the most fascinating entertainment there is.

Diana Vreeland

Tags: entertainment wit comedy witty conversation talk talking



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Comedians love people to point and laugh at them, even if they are not funny, naturists don't, no matter how funny they are.

Roy Station

Tags: comedy naturists



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I say, you look smashing this evening," Zayne strode over to her, took her arm, and began helping her up the walk, "That is a lovely gown, and what is the color of the hair you're currently sporting?

Jen Turano

Tags: comedy hair agatha jen-turano zayne-beckett



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I'm lucky I'm a comedian, 'cause otherwise my life would just be a series of undocumented low points.

Kyle Kinane

Tags: honesty comedy kyle-kinane



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People keep making excuses, that’s why everthing happens for a reason.

Roy Saputra

Tags: humor satire comedy



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Speak English at this table or I will fire you so fast you'll wind up standing at the airport wondering how you got from here to there without any goddamn pants on.

Mira Grant

Tags: comedy zombies



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