If the Lord hasn't got a boyfriend lined up for me to marry, that's his business.
Barbara KingsolverTags: humor love funny poisonwood-bible
I just don't believe in helping people who are going to torture me. Though I don't see any bamboo slivers. How can you possibly torture someone without bamboo slivers?
Laurell K. HamiltonTags: funny bad-ass anita-blake
You have better luck than you think you do,” Cian said firmly.
Turning back toward him, she said, “Yeah? Prove it?”
You found me.”
Yeah, and awakening your inner vampire, scaring the shit out of your
girlfriend, and screwing up your life.”
Then that's my bad luck,” he corrected her.
Tags: funny
Plus, in one of his e-mails, the guy said he didn't like pancakes. What kind of asshole doesn't like pancakes?
A.J. JacobsTags: funny
Again Creb grunted. It was the usual noncommittal comment used by men when responding to a woman. It carried only enough meaning to indicate the woman had been understood, without acknowledging too much significance in what she said.
Jean M. AuelTags: funny
We needed a refrigerator for our new place and I've never bought a refrigerator my whole life. I went into the appliance store, there's like 900 of 'em lined up, there's a salesman there. What's this guy supposed to say about refrigerators? "Well you got this refrigerator here, This keeps all your food cold for 600...You've got this refrigerator, This keeps all your food cold for 800...Check this out, 1400, keeps all your food cold.
Brian ReganTags: funny comedy brian-regan i-walked-on-the-moon
The doctor seemed especially troubled by the fact of the robbery having been unexpected, and attempted in the night-time; as if it were the established custom of gentlemen in the housebreaking way to transact business at noon, and to make an appointment, by the twopenny post, a day or two previous.
Charles DickensIf anything attacked us, we could just panic at it until it went away.
Seanan McGuireTags: books funny ironic rosemary-and-rue seanan-mcguire
In life, more than in anything else, it isn’t easy to end up alive.
Roman PayneTags: humor life death humour funny dying truism accidents
Sweetie, this is Hell. We invented paperwork.
Jackie KesslerTags: funny
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