This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I?
Craig BenzineTags: humor funny youtube youtuber wheezy-waiter wheezywaiter
Isn’t it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize.
M.F. MoonzajerIsabelle: Do you want some soup?
Jace: No
Isabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?
Jace: No one wants soup
Simon: I want some soup!
Jace: No, you don't. You just want to sleep with Isabelle
Tags: humour funny jace jace-wayland cityofbones jaceishot
The old agility was still present and the passion was undeniable, but it was the wobbling of the gut, the puffing of the cheeks and the profuse sweating that lent the performance its true magic.
Jamie HoloranTags: funny comedy scottish highland-dancing
Oh! Do you have a pocketknife?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Pocketknife?"
"Don't men your age always have pocketknives?" I asked in a high-pitched voice.
"My age? I'm not a fucking grandfather," he snapped.
There was nothing normal about the divine twin sproutings that formed Rachel Melville’s magically springy chest. Almost involuntarily Ronnie found himself nodding like an obedient puppy.
Jamie HoloranAh bet she’s a dirty wee minx in the scratcher. Y’see that "butter wouldnae melt" expression she’s goat goin on? That’s jist a smokescreen – ah guarantee she goes like a train.’ Jimmy belched, considerately turning his head away to exhale.
Jamie HoloranAnd honestly, given the choice of facing my mother or a vampire, I think I'd always choose the latter.
Krystle JonesCare to explain?” Ari asked.
“Didn’t you see my signals?”
“Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an intrusion.”
“It’s an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.”
“That’s not the signal for illusion. This is.” Ari demonstrated the proper signal.
“That’s what I did.”
“No, you didn’t. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.”
“I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”
-Janco and Ari bickering
Tags: funny argument funny-humor bickering funny-and-random funny-quotes
Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.
William Makepeace ThackerayTags: humour prison funny debt escape vanity-fair
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