This quote will self-destruct in....4....3....2...1...Just kidding...Or am I?
Craig BenzineStichwörter: humor funny youtube youtuber wheezy-waiter wheezywaiter
Isn’t it funny? You forgive people before they ask forgiveness. Later they expect your apologize.
M.F. MoonzajerStichwörter: funny apologize expect
Isabelle: Do you want some soup?
Jace: No
Isabelle: Do you think Hodge will want some soup?
Jace: No one wants soup
Simon: I want some soup!
Jace: No, you don't. You just want to sleep with Isabelle
Stichwörter: humour funny jace jace-wayland cityofbones jaceishot
The old agility was still present and the passion was undeniable, but it was the wobbling of the gut, the puffing of the cheeks and the profuse sweating that lent the performance its true magic.
Jamie HoloranStichwörter: funny comedy scottish highland-dancing
Oh! Do you have a pocketknife?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. "Pocketknife?"
"Don't men your age always have pocketknives?" I asked in a high-pitched voice.
"My age? I'm not a fucking grandfather," he snapped.
Stichwörter: funny adorable lon cady
There was nothing normal about the divine twin sproutings that formed Rachel Melville’s magically springy chest. Almost involuntarily Ronnie found himself nodding like an obedient puppy.
Jamie HoloranStichwörter: funny breasts scottish
Ah bet she’s a dirty wee minx in the scratcher. Y’see that "butter wouldnae melt" expression she’s goat goin on? That’s jist a smokescreen – ah guarantee she goes like a train.’ Jimmy belched, considerately turning his head away to exhale.
Jamie HoloranAnd honestly, given the choice of facing my mother or a vampire, I think I'd always choose the latter.
Krystle JonesStichwörter: funny vampire moms
Care to explain?” Ari asked.
“Didn’t you see my signals?”
“Yeah. But they didn’t make sense. Five into one and it’s an intrusion.”
“It’s an illusion! Five of them are an illusion.”
“That’s not the signal for illusion. This is.” Ari demonstrated the proper signal.
“That’s what I did.”
“No, you didn’t. You did a weird twisty thing with your pinky.”
“I had a scimitar at my throat. I’d like to see you try signaling under those conditions.”
-Janco and Ari bickering
Stichwörter: funny argument funny-humor bickering funny-and-random funny-quotes
Mr Moss's courtyard is railed in like a cage, lest the gentlemen who are boarding with him should take a fancy to escape from his hospitality.
William Makepeace ThackerayStichwörter: humour prison funny debt escape vanity-fair
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