A Skalan trader tried to tell me the streets of his cities were paved with gold," Alec went on. "I didn't believe him, though. He was the one who tried to buy me from father. I was only eight or nine. I could never figure out what he wanted me for."
"Really?" Seregil lifted a noncommittal eyebrow.
Tags: adventure fantasy funny seregil
These are Plenimaran marines, and there's not much most of them aren't capable of, if you take my meaning."
"I don't think I do," said Alec, puzzled by Seregil's tone.
"Then try this. They have a saying among them: 'When whores are few, a boy will do.' Got that?"
"Oh." Alec felt his face go hot.
Tags: adventure fantasy funny nightrunner seregil
Come on, Seregil, let's show him how it's done."
"I'm busy," replied Seregil, working on a tricky bit of fingering.
Moving to stand over him, Micum groweled, "Put away that twopenny toy, you tit-sucking coistril, and show me the length of your blade!"
Seregil laid his harp aside with a sigh. "Dear me, that sounds rather like a challenge-"
Lunging swiftly past Micum, he sprang to his feet and drew his sword, then swung a flat-bladed attack at Micum's forearm.
Tags: adventure funny nightrunner seregil fanatsy micum
My favorite people are the ones that can make any unfunny joke hilarious by just laughing.
Ziad K. AbdelnourTags: funny joke laughing hilarious
She is so funny, stubborn and selfish; and that makes her so special.
M.F. MoonzajerTags: selfish funny special stubborn
This is not how people behave in a Cracker Barrel!
Molly HarperTags: funny cracker-barrel
The bartender put a notepad and a pencil before me. Breathing hard, the pencil trembling, I wrote:
Dear Sinclair Lewis:
You were once a god, but now you are a swine. I once reverenced you, admired you, and now you are nothing. I came to shake your hand in adoration, you, Lewis, a giant among American writers, and you rejected it. I swear I shall never read another line of yours again. You are an ill-mannered boor. You have betrayed me. I shall tell H. L. Muller about you, and how you have shamed me. I shall tell the world.
Arturo Bandini
P.S. I hope you choke on your steak.
Tags: funny
She said, “Look me right in the eye, and tell me you don’t love me, and I’ll go.”
He stared at her. “Miss, I do not love you.”
“Don’t give me that rot! I’m coming with you, and that’s final!”
“Daphne, you just said that if I said…”
“That doesn’t count! I said look me right in the eye! You were staring at my nose!
Lokeij whistled. “Make the king’s warriors vanish if
they come. . . what a deceitful turtledove you are.”
Aly smiled at the sky. “Oh, don’t,”she replied in the
tones of a flirtatious court lady. “Stop, I insist. Your
flattery makes me blush.
Whenever a woman smiled his way, she'd already begun dividing her life into trimesters.
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