I have a copy of you in my brain; when you make me angry I do very bad things to you.
M.F. MoonzajerNature is a porno. Deal with it.
Craig BenzineTags: humor nature funny wheezy-waiter wheezywaiter
Ender began to eat, slowly and carefully, pretending not to notice he was the center of attention.
Orson Scott CardTags: life humour funny attention
When you're running a bureaucracy the best way to safeguard your job is to make sure you're the only one who knows how the whole thing works. -Lord Julius
Dave SimTags: funny comics graphic-novels cerebus dave-sim lord-julius
Only dead fishes go with the flow.. I guess that make me a dead fish!
Shanai CampbellTags: humour funny fact randomness
She oozes the kind of over-confidence that only comes to people who wear deep red lipstick and sparkly tissue sarees in bright daylight.
Aditi Mathur KumarTags: romance funny army military armywife military-spouce
Life is like butter - when things cool down it can be reshaped
Alan SheinwaldTags: fear wisdom life inspirational art perception pessimism strength experience reality freedom peace belief integrity confidence romance sadness fate planning plans faith be-yourself fitting-in those-who-matter accomplishment relationships human-nature light live funny mistakes strategy smile smiling action actions attributed best alan-sheinwald magination
Where in the Bible are we told in one verse not to do a thing and in the next to do it?
‘Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.’ Prov. xxvi. 4.
‘Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.’ Prov. xxvi. 5.
Tags: humor funny foolish humorous contradiction orders commands
Apropos of Eskimo, I once heard a missionary describe the extraordinary difficulty he had found in translating the Bible into Eskimo. It was useless to talk of corn or wine to a people who did not know even what they meant, so he had to use equivalents within their powers of comprehension. Thus in the Eskimo version of the Scriptures the miracle of Cana of Galilee is described as turning the water into blubber; the 8th verse of the 5th chapter of the First Epistle of St. Peter ran: ‘Your adversary the devil, as a roaring Polar bear walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.’ In the same way ‘A land flowing with milk and honey’ became ‘A land flowing with whale’s blubber,’ and throughout the New Testament the words ‘Lamb of God’ had to be translated ‘little Seal of God,’ as the nearest possible equivalent. The missionary added that his converts had the lowest opinion of Jonah for not having utilised his exceptional opportunities by killing and eating the whale.
Fredrick William HamiltonTags: humor funny culture whales creation-myths eskimo polar-bear
Holy f*ck, everything they'd said was true.
J. LynnTags: funny
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