Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

Josh Stern

Tags: humor people communication mind relationships absurd funny sarcasm conversations

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It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Josh Stern

Tags: humor people communication mind relationships absurd funny sarcasm failure conversations sarcastic

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The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy insane funny-and-random

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If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy funny-and-random

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Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to fit them is a fiasco

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy funny-and-random

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When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on the pillow

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy funny-and-random

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If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy funny-and-random

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Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub

Josh Stern

Tags: humor love passion romance strange absurd funny crazy funny-and-random

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But as an escort it’s our duty to hold their attention and play with their heads. The one between their ears and the one in their pants.

S.K. Logsdon

Tags: romance funny author erotica sexy-humor escorts

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I've got a cab waiting so we sh-" he stopped speaking as he entered the
sitting room, his eyes frozen on me.
"Fuck."

Ellie giggled.

I squinted an eye at him. "Is that a good fuck?"

He grinned. "Well you're that too, babe.

Samantha Young

Tags: humor funny sexy-humor

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