The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.
Is there any good news?' Tesla said.
Who ever promised that? Who ever said there'd be good news?
Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.
D.J. MacHaleTags: funny
Of course you know, this means war.
Joe AdamsonTags: war funny looney-toons
How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!
Cathy East DubowskiTags: funny danger space eyeballs
The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.
Terry PratchettShe said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.
Rick RiordanIt was like hiking into a Hemingway story; everything was sepia-toned and bristling with subtext.
Leslie WhatTags: simile literature funny wilderness hermit
Stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Pleased to be of service.
Shut up.
Thank you.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Thank you for making a simple door very happy.
Hope your diodes rot.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
It is my pleasure to open for you...
Zark off.
...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
I said zark off.
Thank you for listening to this message.
Called her a whore and attacked her walls, tearing down her posters and throwing her books everywhere. I found out because some whitegirl ran up and said, Excuse me, but your stupid roommate is going insane, and I had to bolt upstairs and put him in a headlock.
Junot DíazTags: funny insane outburst whitegirl
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