The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A
Genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.

Joe Theismann

Stichwörter: funny stupid wow



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Is there any good news?' Tesla said.
Who ever promised that? Who ever said there'd be good news?

Clive Barker

Stichwörter: life despair funny



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Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.

D.J. MacHale

Stichwörter: funny



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Of course you know, this means war.

Joe Adamson

Stichwörter: war funny looney-toons



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How dare you open a spaceman's helmet on an uncharted planet? My eyeballs could've been sucked from their sockets!

Cathy East Dubowski

Stichwörter: funny danger space eyeballs



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The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can't have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles -- kingons, or possibly queons -- that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

Terry Pratchett

Stichwörter: funny physics monarchy



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She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.

Rick Riordan

Stichwörter: humor funny



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It was like hiking into a Hemingway story; everything was sepia-toned and bristling with subtext.

Leslie What

Stichwörter: simile literature funny wilderness hermit



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Stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Pleased to be of service.
Shut up.
Thank you.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
Thank you for making a simple door very happy.
Hope your diodes rot.
Thank you. Have a nice day.
Stomp stomp stomp stomp.
Whirr.
It is my pleasure to open for you...
Zark off.
...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.
I said zark off.
Thank you for listening to this message.

Douglas Adams

Stichwörter: humor random funny



Weiter zum Zitat


Called her a whore and attacked her walls, tearing down her posters and throwing her books everywhere. I found out because some whitegirl ran up and said, Excuse me, but your stupid roommate is going insane, and I had to bolt upstairs and put him in a headlock.

Junot Díaz

Stichwörter: funny insane outburst whitegirl



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