I'm going to end up like one of those old weirdos who lives in a network of tunnels burrowed through trash - yet I do not fear this.

Will Self

Tags: humor



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Often it does seem such a pity that Noah and his party did not miss the boat.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor wit



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Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor writing



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Succotash my cocker spaniel, you fudging crevasse-hole dipshiitake!

Jonathan Safran Foer

Tags: humor



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I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen

Tags: humor fear life death



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Don't Panic.

Douglas Adams

Tags: humor h2g2 hitchhiker-s-guide panic



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To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.

Oscar Wilde

Tags: humor paraphrased parents children



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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor life



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A horse must be a bit mad to be a good cavalry mount, and its rider must be completely so.

Steven Pressfield

Tags: humor alexander-the-great



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A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.

Steven Pressfield

Tags: humor horse army



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