The Queen's Pride was his ship, and he loved her. (That was the way his sentences always went: It is raining today and I love you. My cold is better and I love you. Say hello to Horse and I love you. Like that.)

William Goldman

Tags: humor love fiction



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Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor procrastination



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Professors of literature collect books the way a ship collects barnacles, without seeming effort.

Carolyn G. Heilbrun

Tags: humor books



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A literary academic can no more pass a bookstore than an alcoholic can pass a bar.

Carolyn G. Heilbrun

Tags: humor books



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I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.

Charles Lamb

Tags: humor work



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If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.

Isaac Asimov

Tags: humor writing



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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor thinking open-mind



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It is said that your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. That is true, it's called Life.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor life death



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Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.

Terry Pratchett

Tags: humor proverb



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This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.

Ben Elton

Tags: humor violence vyvyan



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