The Guide says there is an art to flying", said Ford, "or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Douglas Adams

Tags: humor flight hg2g flying



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Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.

Lily Tomlin

Tags: humor apothegm complain



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To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.

Robert Harris

Tags: humor



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The price of meat has just gone up and your old lady has just gone down.

Frank Zappa

Tags: humor



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Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.

Robert A. Heinlein

Tags: humor cats women



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Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.

Matt Groening

Tags: humor love metaphor simpsons



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There's some heinous fuckery goin' on mon.

Christopher Moore

Tags: humor fluke



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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)

Douglas Adams

Tags: humor inspirational



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I shouldn't believe anything I say, if I were you-and that includes what I just told you.

Jasper Fforde

Tags: humor truth



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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx

Tags: humor reading books television



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