If it's a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.
Steven WrightTags: humor
History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.
Winston S. ChurchillI have nothing to declare except my genius.
Oscar WildeTags: humor
I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.
Rudyard KiplingTags: humor mistakes justification pretexts
If Pac-Man had affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in dark rooms, munching pills and listening to repetitive electronic music.
Marcus BrigstockeTags: humor games influence joke video-games
Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
H.L. MenckenTags: humor belief definition illogical improbable
Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.
Lemony SnicketThe most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.
Calvin TrillinTags: humor food cooking leftovers mothers
Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.
Winston S. ChurchillTags: humor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.
Alex LevineTags: humor irish drinking alcohol food-groups
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