Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

George Burns

Tags: humor politics



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There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon)

D.J. MacHale

Tags: humor people clowns



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The French have a new president, the British will soon have a new P.M., and we envy them as we endure the endless wait for this small dim man to go back to Texas and resume his life.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: humor politics



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Ginny!" said Mr. Weasley, flabbergasted. "Haven't I taught you anything? What have I always told you? Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain?

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor trust



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Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.
Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

Ambrose Bierce

Tags: humor inspiration definition



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Everything not forbidden is compulsory

T.H. White

Tags: humor absurd government totalitarianism



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In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Ambrose Bierce

Tags: humor politics intelligence



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Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.

Flannery O'Connor

Tags: humor writing criticism



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I don't deserve any credit for turning the other cheek as my tongue is always in it.

Flannery O'Connor

Tags: humor wit



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Where is human nature so weak as in the bookstore?

Henry Ward Beecher

Tags: humor books



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