When the eagles are silent, the parrots begin to jabber.
Winston S. ChurchillTags: humor
This is the sixty-nine," I told him, presenting the magazine in front of him. I put my fingers -- two of them -- on the action, so that he would not overlook it. "Why is it dubbed sixty-nine?" he asked, because he is a person hot on fire with curiosity. "It was invented in 1969. My friend Gregory knows a friend of the nephew of the inventor." "What did people do before 1969?" "Merely blowjobs and masticating box, but never in chorus.
Jonathan Safran FoerRight now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
Steven WrightEverywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Steven WrightTags: humor perspective walking
No good deed goes unpunished.
Oscar WildeTags: humor
Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
Dorothy ParkerTags: humor beauty classic-insult ugly
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout.
Herman WoukIt often happens that we blurt out things that may in some kind of way be harmful to us, but we are silent about things that may make us look ridiculous; because in this case effect follows very quickly on cause.
Arthur SchopenhauerTags: humor schopenhauer
Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.
Jasper FfordeOnce I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: "No good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
Eleanor Roosevelt« first previous
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