If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

George Bernard Shaw

Tags: humor family



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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.

Narcotics Anonymous

Tags: humor life misattributed-mark-twain insanity misattributed-to-einstein misattributed-ben-franklin



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The trouble with being in the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

Lily Tomlin

Tags: humor life rat-race



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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.

Woody Allen

Tags: humor life sex



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A man's subconscious self is not the ideal companion. It lurks for the greater part of his life in some dark den of its own, hidden away, and emerges only to taunt and deride and increase the misery of a miserable hour.

P.G. Wodehouse

Tags: humor misery moroseness subconscious



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There is only one thing in the world worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about.

Oscar Wilde

Tags: humor



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It was the first time I was ever in love, and I learned a lot. Before that I'd never even thought about killing myself.

Steven Wright

Tags: humor love



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Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor



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Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied?

William Makepeace Thackeray

Tags: humor satire vanity classics



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In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is.

Benjamin Brewster

Tags: humor theory misattributed-to-einstein 1882 misattributed-to-yogi-berra quote-investigator



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