Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.

Mark Twain

Tags: humor politics



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A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.

Jane Austen

Tags: humor love women romantic



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Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources

C.E.M. Joad

Tags: humor paraphrased creativity misattributed-to-einstein



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Even on the most solemn occasions I got away without wearing socks and hid that lack of civilization in high boots

Albert Einstein

Tags: humor fashion



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The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.

Jane Austen

Tags: humor books classic aliteracy



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Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.

Charles J. Sykes

Tags: humor work misattributed-to-bill-gates nerd nerds



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In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.

Hermann Hesse

Tags: humor eternity joke discordian discordianism



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Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: humor religion



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I like to have a martini,
Two at the very most.
After three I'm under the table,
after four I'm under my host.

Dorothy Parker

Tags: humor drinking drunken-behaviour



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Wait. Why am I thinking about Krispy Kremes? We’re supposed to be exercising.

Meg Cabot

Tags: humor food



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