Tomorrow is promised to no one.

Clint Eastwood

Tags: humor tomorrow



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Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come to the end: then stop.

Lewis Carroll

Tags: humor



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Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.

Douglas Adams

Tags: humor philosophy science-fiction



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She's the sort of woman who lives for others - you can tell the others by their hunted expression.

C.S. Lewis

Tags: humor women zealousness



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As for monkeys, I would have five, and they would be named: See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil, Do Pretty Much Whatever The Hell You Want, and Expensive Attorney.

Tad Williams

Tags: humor



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Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that.

Garrison Keillor

Tags: humor



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Someday we'll look back on this and it will all seem funny.

Bruce Springsteen

Tags: humor



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Alas! Earwax!

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor dumbledore



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Housework can kill you if done right.

Erma Bombeck

Tags: humor housekeeping chores



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Tell the truth, or someone will tell it for you.

Stephanie Klein

Tags: humor life truth memoir



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