Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.
Chelsea HandlerIt was quite obvious that without severe behavior modification, this boy would grow up to be a serial killer.
Chelsea HandlerTags: humor
I was lying here watching Dr. Phil, who, by the way, has some anger management issues. Doesn't his wife Robin look like she's been hypnotized? I feel like he goes home and beats her. The guy's an egomaniac and he's not doing a very [sic] job of covering it up by pretending to be interested in other people's problems.
Chelsea HandlerYour lack of geographical knowledge is truly astounding.
Chelsea HandlerSeconds later, the female security officer grabbed a pair of my father's shorts from the top of the duffel bag, and emptied out the contents of his pockets. A lighter, three nail files, a pocket wrench, a pair of pliers, a screwdriver, and a nectarine fell onto the folding table. I looked at the woman, looked at my father, and then looked around to see if anyone else was watching.
"What's the problem?" my father asked the woman.
"Sir, I'm going to have to take this lighter away from you," she said.
"The lighter?" I asked her. "What about the bomb kit he's carrying around? He could do a lot more damage to a person with that wrench."
"I need the wrench!" he shrieked.
"For what?"
"What if something goes wrong with the plane?
Tags: humor family travel airport-security
If farmer doesn't have a fertile land then there is no hope for cultivation, as a man if you don't have a sincere heart ,it would be worthless to gain a love by others heart.
Bikash_RushTags: humor inspirational
By the way he reacted, you would have thought I told him that slavery never happened. He laid into me with the same gusto as a right-wing political pundit on the O'Reilly Factor defending President Bush's right to vacation six days out of the week.
Chelsea HandlerI love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.
Chelsea HandlerEl mundo está lleno de esnobismo, de "mujeres locas" y hombres con camisas de cuadros escribiendo con una olivetti en un starbucks.
Ainhoa RebolledoTags: humor real-world tricot
You know you're in the wrong century when you farble the poor young woman at the cosmetics counter thus: "Why do they put the mascara in little amphorae?!? We're not trying to transport it in Barbie doll merchant vessels - we just want it to stand up on the counter." If her face had been any blanker, her features would have disappeared.
Tinney Sue HeathTags: humor random-thought historical-author-observation
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