Do you know about Thor's Hammer? (Points to Bicep) Well, that's it right here.
Peter MelmanTags: humor
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
Dorothy ParkerI took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody AllenTags: humor reading speed-reading tolstoy
Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft were written by men.
Neil GaimanTags: humor men women witchcraft witches
He couldn’t see why people made such a fuss about people eating their silly old fruit anyway, but life would be a lot less fun if they didn’t. And there was never an apple, in Adam’s opinion, that wasn’t worth the trouble you got into for eating it.
Neil GaimanTags: humor
I may not be smart enough to do everything, but I am dumb enough to try anything.
Geoff JohnsTags: humor
Drinking is fun! It makes me feel horrible and sexy!
Warren EllisFirst of all, let's get one thing straight. Your Italy and our Italia are not the same thing. Italy is a soft drug peddled in predictable packages, such as hills in the sunset, olive groves, lemon trees, white wine, and raven-haired girls. Italia, on the other hand, is a maze. It's alluring, but complicated. It's the kind of place that can have you fuming and then purring in the space of a hundred meters, or in the course of ten minutes. Italy is the only workshop in the world that can turn out both Botticellis and Berlusconis.
Beppe SevergniniWell finish your story anyway."
Where was I?"
The bubonic plague. The bulldozer was stalled by corpses."
Oh, yes. Anyway, one sleepless night I stayed up with Father while he worked. It was all we could do to find a live patient to treat. In bed after bed after bed we found dead people.
And Father started giggling," Castle continued.
He couldn't stop. He walked out into the night with his flashlight. He was still giggling. He was making the flashlight beam dance over all the dead people stacked outside. He put his hand on my head and do you know what that marvelous man said to me?" asked Castle.
Nope."
'Son,' my father said to me, 'someday this will all be yours.
Tags: humor
Why is it no one sent me yet one perfect limousine, do you suppose? Ah no, it's always just my luck to get one perfect rose.
Dorothy ParkerTags: humor
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