The worst thing about the dead rising? (Other than, you know, all the zombies?) The smell. Nothing kills the mood like the odor of three day old road kill and poo... -Katherine Anita Cho(KyCH)
S.P. DurninTags: humor humorous sarcastic sarcastic-humor
Cross.”
His head popped up a few shelves over. “What?”
“Check out the magic crap.”
He shot me a look. “Oh, is that what we’re supposed to be doing? Because I’ve just been drawing hearts and our initials in the dirt.”
Sophie + Archer
Tags: humorous
Scrawny little mundane bastard.
Cassandra ClareTags: humorous
Attacking a provincial lord in his manor house, surrounded by guards...Honestly, Kell, I'd nearly forgotten how foolhardy you can be.
"Foolhardy?" Kelsier asked with a laugh. "that wasn't foolhardy - that was just a small diversion. You should see some of the things I'm planning to do!
Dockson stood for a moment then he laughed too. "By the Lord Ruler, it's good to have you back, kell! I'm afraid I've grown rather boring during the last few years"
"We'll fix that" Kelsier promised.
Tags: humor planning plans funny humorous promises promise plan kelsier diversions dockson dox foolhardy getting-boring kell
A weapon, I told Horus. I need a weapon.
I reached into the Duat and pulled out an ostrich feather.
“Really?” I yelled.
Horus didn’t answer
Tags: humorous
What do you mean, is that it? I just saved his career and the CIA from ruin and he calls me a perfidious ass."
"What's perfidious mean?" Ace asked from the driver's seat.
"You deceived him and stole his girlfriend out from under his nose," Julia said to Conrad. "I think technically 'ass' is a pretty mild revilement."
"Revilement?" Ace looked at one and then the other in his rearview. "This is some kind of spy talk, isn't it? Okay, I'm down with it. Just tell me what it means.
Tags: humorous classic-quotes
I lifted my wand, hoping she would see this as a dramatic move, not a threat. “Why once, in my bunker at Charing Cross Station, I stalked the
deadly prey known as Jelly Babies.”
Neith’s eyes widened. “They are dangerous?”
“Horrible,” I agreed. “Oh, they seem small alone, but they always appear in great numbers. Sticky, fattening—quite deadly. There I was, alone
with only two quid and a Tube pass, beset by Jelly Babies, when…Ah, but never mind. When the Jelly Babies come for you…you will find out on
your own.”
She lowered her bow. “Tell me. I must know how to hunt Jelly Babies.”
I looked at Walt gravely. “How many months have I trained you, Walt?”
“Seven,” he said. “Almost eight.”
“And have I ever deemed you worthy of hunting Jelly Babies with me?”
“Uh…no.
Tags: humorous
When it comes to being famous, you’re usually the last to know, and the first to deny it. Unless you were already famous in your head. In which case, party on, Wayne! Party on, Garth!
Carroll BryantTags: humor funny humorous funny-humor
But if anyone
so much as threatened them because of what Kaia
had once done, she would turn the Slumber Party
Massacre into Blood, Bath and Beyond, a
documentary by Kaia Skyhawk.
Tags: humorous
He said that it was very difficult to become an astronaut. I said that I knew. You had to become an officer in the air force and you had to take lots of orders and be prepared to kill other human beings, and I couldn't take orders. Also I didn't have 20/20 vision, which you needed to be a pilot.
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