I cannot see you anymore. Your ego spans higher than the Himalayas.” Sutara
Eleni PapanouTags: humorous
We’re automatons in a symphony conducted by a lunatic and performed by blind idealists.” Damon
Eleni PapanouI shot him a look. "That bouncer was really big."
His lips quirked. "Oh, Kitten, see, I try not to say bad things."
"What?"
The grin spread. "I would say size doesn't matter but it does. I would know." he winked, and I let out a disgusted groan. He laughed.
Tags: humor humour funny humorous
The joke was that President Bush only declared war when Starbucks was hit. You can mess with the U.N. all you want, but when you start interfering with the right to get caffeinated, someone has to pay.
Chris KyleTags: humor war america humorous bush president coffee american caffeine starbucks president-bush
It’s mind-blowing and delicious and better
than finding a pot of gold, a unicorn, and a leprechaun who shits diamonds at
the end of a rainbow.
Tags: humorous
I have a constant hungry bum. It's like my own venus fly trap
Monica Merrill MyletTags: humorous
My father had bought him a shirt
that said “Sure you can date my daughter. In a completely unrelated topic,
have you seen my shotgun?
Tags: humorous
...the concept of marketing is almost as old as humanity itself...suffice it to say here that it took almost no time for a wily serpent to sell Adam and Eve on a shiny apple from the Tree of Knowledge, at which point they became not only the first humans but also the first marketing demographic, and God expelled them from the Garden of Eden for being total consumerist dupes. (p. 40)
BikeSnobNYCTags: humorous marketing bible-stories
The ark was like a portable computer hard drive and Noah was a one-man Geek Squad, and he dumped God's most important files onto it before he zorched the virus-ridden computer that was the world.
BikeSnobNYCTags: humorous noah-s-ark bible-stories
Listen carefully, Lucas Steele, because I will only say this once. I am NOT your mate, I will never be your mate, and if you ever put your hands on me again I will cut them off along with other body parts you might want to use one day. Got it?" Jacque told him with as much force as she could put behind her words.
Quinn LoftisTags: humor humorous warewolves jacque prince-of-wolves
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