Another example of getting flack from the boys is what happened when Jack Black dumped me. That’s right. I fucked Jack Black. Okay, we went out only two or three times, but that’s a relationship in my book. And by the way, this is my book.

Kathy Griffin

Tags: sex relationships humorous one-night-stand



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My mouth was dry. Whispers carried on the wind as the maids around me bunched together in small groups, hysterical, morbid. I thought: who will clean the mess?

A. Mussbacher

Tags: humorous irony



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If you are not dancing, your dead.

Lisa Alpine

Tags: inspirational dance humorous



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Malory! You've got a chipmunk on your pussy!

Tamara Thorne

Tags: humor funny humorous dirty



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He would not object, he said, to accepting a post as a librarian. But as Cecilia was unable to imagine that her father or her brother would feel any marked degree of satisfaction in giving her in marriage to a librarian, this very handsome concession on Mr Fawnhope's part merely added to her despondency.

Georgette Heyer

Tags: librarians humorous



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Quadruple crap. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why did he have this effect on me? “Are you compelling me right now?”
To my surprise, his smile held an edge of sadness. “That would give you a much needed excuse, but I am afraid I am not.”
Curse my body for reacting to his. As long as I kept him out of my heart, I would be okay.
“I think it a bit too late for that, my dear.”
“You’re using old man speak again.” I made a face. “It’s creepy.”
He chuckled. “I’ll try to remember that, but I haven’t been around humans much in the past hundred years. It’s hard to keep up with the changes in common dialect.”
“Let’s keep on topic, Jett. You were going to teach me how to control my mind.

Christie Rich

Tags: humorous



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Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers.

Jess Walter

Tags: humorous



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- Pieprzyłaś się z nim, tak?
- Musisz być taka wulgarna?
- Oj, zapomniałam, że ty podczas stosunku zawsze słyszysz dźwięki kwartetu skrzypcowego w tle. Nie chciałabym zagłuszyć skrzypiec, ale lepiej żebyś zbudziła się z tych marzeń.

Alastair MacNeill

Tags: humorous



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She was a former Texan - proud, loud and stubborn. But you can't really be a former Texan. You can only move out of Texas. To be a former Texan would be like growing up in Italy, moving out and being formerly Italian.

Jeffrey Michelson

Tags: humorous



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Seduction is the art of saying what you don't do in order to do what you don't say

Löis Lancaster

Tags: humorous seduction



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