Another example of getting flack from the boys is what happened when Jack Black dumped me. That’s right. I fucked Jack Black. Okay, we went out only two or three times, but that’s a relationship in my book. And by the way, this is my book.
Kathy GriffinTags: sex relationships humorous one-night-stand
My mouth was dry. Whispers carried on the wind as the maids around me bunched together in small groups, hysterical, morbid. I thought: who will clean the mess?
A. MussbacherIf you are not dancing, your dead.
Lisa AlpineTags: inspirational dance humorous
Malory! You've got a chipmunk on your pussy!
Tamara ThorneTags: humor funny humorous dirty
He would not object, he said, to accepting a post as a librarian. But as Cecilia was unable to imagine that her father or her brother would feel any marked degree of satisfaction in giving her in marriage to a librarian, this very handsome concession on Mr Fawnhope's part merely added to her despondency.
Georgette HeyerTags: librarians humorous
Quadruple crap. Why couldn’t I control myself? Why did he have this effect on me? “Are you compelling me right now?”
To my surprise, his smile held an edge of sadness. “That would give you a much needed excuse, but I am afraid I am not.”
Curse my body for reacting to his. As long as I kept him out of my heart, I would be okay.
“I think it a bit too late for that, my dear.”
“You’re using old man speak again.” I made a face. “It’s creepy.”
He chuckled. “I’ll try to remember that, but I haven’t been around humans much in the past hundred years. It’s hard to keep up with the changes in common dialect.”
“Let’s keep on topic, Jett. You were going to teach me how to control my mind.
Tags: humorous
Two kinds of people always lie about their ages: actresses and Latin American pitchers.
Jess WalterTags: humorous
- Pieprzyłaś się z nim, tak?
- Musisz być taka wulgarna?
- Oj, zapomniałam, że ty podczas stosunku zawsze słyszysz dźwięki kwartetu skrzypcowego w tle. Nie chciałabym zagłuszyć skrzypiec, ale lepiej żebyś zbudziła się z tych marzeń.
Tags: humorous
She was a former Texan - proud, loud and stubborn. But you can't really be a former Texan. You can only move out of Texas. To be a former Texan would be like growing up in Italy, moving out and being formerly Italian.
Jeffrey MichelsonTags: humorous
Seduction is the art of saying what you don't do in order to do what you don't say
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