Jericho stopped him before he left. He slid the ring off his finger and handed it to him. "Take this."
Asmodeus curled his lip as he shrank back from it. "I'm not about to marry your ugly ass, boy. No offense, but you ain't my type. I like my dates with less body hair... and with female parts attached by nature."
Jericho let out an aggravated growl. "It's not a wedding ring, asshole. It's Berith's ring. You get into trouble you can summon him to help you get out of there."
That completely changed his attitude. "Oh, hey, that could be worth an engagement to you." Asmodeus grinned as he palmed it. "If I'm back in a few hours... well, I don't want to think about that. I might change my mind about doing this. I'm thinking happy thoughts. Creamed dog innards and rotten steak. Yeah. Yum." He vanished.
Tags: humor humorous dream-warrior
I turned on the television and watched a movie about a girl who’d fallen in love with both a vampire and a werewolf. I’d already seen it a million times, so my eyelids grew heavy, fairly quickly. Ten minutes later I was out cold in my bed and dreaming of Duncan, who turned into a werewolf and was trying to kill my own vampire boyfriend. Every time I tried to see the vampire’s face, however, it was a blur.
Kristen MiddletonTags: dream humorous movie-inspirational
I know something you do not know. I am not left-handed either.
William GoldmanTags: humorous
As soon as a friendship passed a certain point - some obscure and secret boundary - a woman quite automatically became overwhelmed by a raging compulsion to complicate things.
David EddingsThe first of ‘Goose’s Two Laws of Survival.’ It runs thus, ‘The weak are meat the strong do eat.’ ” ... Henry grinned in the dark
David MitchellCan I have my ear back?" He asked irritably.
She blinked.
"Mother, can you tell this creature here to loosen her hold?
Tags: humorous
Writing is my passion, not my job. I need to write as much as I need to breathe, if not more.
A. MussbacherTags: inspirational writing humorous artistic
Q and Beanpole and I giggled at the way our math teacher, Mr. Sung-Li, wore four pencils in his shirt pocket in case he was suddenly attacked by a multiplication problem or something.
Alan SitomerTags: humor humorous alan alan-lawrence alan-lawrence-sitomre dorkasaurus lawrence-sitomer nerd-girls sitomer the-nerd-girls the-rise-of-the-dorkasaurus
Who's going to take care of it? You?. . . Son, you came in the house yesterday with sh*t on your hands. Humansh*t. I don't know how that happened, but if someone has shit on their hands, it's an indicator that maybe the whole responsibility thing isn't for them. -Dad
Justin HalpernTags: inspirational humorous
You know we've got it bad when a naked and gyrating Channing Tatum can't solve our problems.
Jen FrederickTags: humorous
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